Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
