she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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