Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
