It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
