the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
