she was so not down for the gang bang
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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