He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Randomize
