i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize