Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
