He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The best revenge is premature balding
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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