HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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