just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
