they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
