very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
