i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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