Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
