Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
