Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
