Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
