trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
