umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
should my penis look like a turkey
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
