Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
