Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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