haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
