you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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