For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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