Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You may now shotgun with the bride
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize