dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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