Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
