Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
