Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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