im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
