Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
