Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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