Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
