So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
