Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
