Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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