just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
