just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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