I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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