I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize