So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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