The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
