Are we in a gay sports bar?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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