Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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