Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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