but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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