Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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