I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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