Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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