It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize