Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
