She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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