The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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