I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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