you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
