holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize