I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
