i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize