I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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