Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
